Review of Treatment of Language Developmental Disorder Part 1 – It is all my fault.

I was pregnant with my first child 6 years after marriage. I had my first child a little late because I thought it would be better to have a child after family life is stabilized and because both my husband and I were working. We were very happy when we knew that we had our first child. Well, our family life was not yet really stabilized, but it was because we spent as much as we earned.

Anyway, I was so happy that I was going to be a mother. However, I heard the very shocking news after I went through a complete medical checkup after the ballast of uterus passed. The amniotic fluid was lacking; my baby was much smaller; umbilical artery was only one line when it was supposed to be two; one side of the cerebellum was dented when it was supposed to have a butterfly look… The doctor gave me a doctor’s note that said another examination in depth was needed at a bigger hospital.

So, I visited a bigger hospital in Seoul and heard the same thing with a suggestion of taking the amniotic fluid test. This test must be done without anesthesia so that I had to sign the paper that entire responsibility is with me even if something was wrong with the fetus since the test was dangerous. I cried a lot at that time.

The result was the same. Doctors recommended us to have the genetic test and to get counseling what kind of disorders that our child would have, but we decided to take no more examination since our baby had to be born regardless of having a disability.

Then we moved to another hospital in Seoul where a child with a disability could be taken good care of. What I heard was that my might have a child with Dandy-Walker syndrome.

I have a very small body, and my younger sibling has an intellectual disability. I started thinking that my baby received bad genes from me and blaming myself.

Although the doctor told me that it is not a matter of genes, I had to go through so much difficult time blaming myself.

On the day I gave birth to my baby I delivered my baby by natural childbirth. The baby was 1.7 kg and had to be placed in an incubator. Although I had so much pain due to child delivery, I was just so sorry that my baby was too small. I was anxious because the kind of disability my child might have was still not clear.

The child had to go through various examinations; fortunately, the condition of the cerebellum was on the border of normal and abnormal.

I am writing this review to tell that child’s disability is not the mother’s fault. I now think that a child with a disability has a different but special ability.

My younger sibling ended up having an intellectual disability after having convulsions; I was so embarrassed having him when I was young. However, I now think he is so pure that every word he speaks out is right. I learn from him a lot now.

I will leave another review about things happened as I rear my child.