[This is an excerpt of a part of the book The Theory of Mimind that I published.]
Who am I?
‘Who am I?’ Ask this question to yourself. If you analyze this question based on the principles of working of mind and psychology, the answer is 'I am myself.'
Humans have mind, consciousness and unconsciousness. There are also three types of psychology, the psychology of perception, the psychology of memory, and the psychology of expression. Memory holds experience and knowledge accumulated through the pursuit of meaning and value until the present moment. Their memory could be vague, but those memories do exist. We only remember what we need. The past memory is our experience and knowledge.
‘I’ remember the past experiences and memories, and they can be sensed within consciousness through the present operation of one’s own unconsciousness. How many of ‘I’ exist in this world? How many people have identical experiences and knowledge with mine and even think like me? Memories are different even among twins. I am the one and only me. My parents granted me my body and mind, and it is ‘I’ that accumulated all the memories within me. I am the one who is thinking based on the memories of my past experience and knowledge regardless of whether they are good or bad. My past holds the memory of experiences and knowledge of its time. The present is what I am thinking now, and the future is what I presume based on my memories.
Thus, there are past, present and future within a human being. They exist inside of me rather than outside. They exist within each individual. My experiences exist within me and my children’s experiences within my children. What I am thinking and sensing is ‘I’. The past ‘I’ does not exist. I am the product of present thought and I recognize and sense myself. In this process, the present thought becomes noticeable through my unconsciousness. Thus, unconsciousness in human mind causes ‘I’ to exist and help ‘I’ to know the foundation of who I am.
The absence of knowledge of the operation of unconsciousness leads to the unawareness of ‘I’ who think in the present moment. That is how I forget the existence of myself and I cannot sense my own being. Who I was yesterday is no longer who I am today since the memory of yesterday is different from that of today. I change constantly until death. No one knows whether it will be a progressive or regressing change, but strictly speaking, the present ‘I’ does not exist since 'I' am changing every moment. The reason why I cannot find who I really am is because I am changing constantly. I have to take cautions in deciding whether what I think I am at the present time is genuine or counterfeit. Therefore, I can hardly be certain about myself.
I am the center of this world in my own life for I live with my own memories and thoughts. I live for myself not for others, and I need to know who I am. I cannot be others and others cannot be me.
When someone hurts you, you will be angry saying, ‘How could you do this to me?’ This means I am asking others to understand my wounds because I do not understand my wounds. But others do not understand you. Nobody knows my mind except myself. I am who I am, and only I can sense and understand myself. I am the one and only from birth to death. Then, why do we endeavor to search ourselves and our mind within others?
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